Let Me Be Exhibit A
prospective law student through the lens of the transgender experience
Inspired by Lindsey Dates Esq Keynote Address
Dedicated to Amz and Ashton, who took me under their wings.
Blake Brockington [1996-2015], who I wish could see how far things have come. Thank you for transforming my world when you did.
In the elevator ride up to the 30th floor, time felt nonexistent. I watched the tick of the elevator numbers go up and up, but the blood had rushed to my feet, cementing me still. I struck up a brief conversation with Sydney, a fellow attendee because it helped to see another person arrive early too.
She asked "What school are you committing to?” to which, I replied “Oh, I am not going this year. Not sure when I will start.” It was a shortened summary of, “I didn’t get my ideal LSAT, I wanted to save up funds with the One Big Beautiful Bill passing, and hoped to learn something about myself.”
The week leading up to the event I had been stressed about a last minute work project from the state with a tight turnaround. Thankfully I had inferred that we would miss the original deadline and I strategized to maximize my work output. It was strenuous work on my wrist, frequent headaches, and feeling out of place in the workplace, even though I just hit my 90 days in my role, with being internally promoted after only 60 days. Once I was off I hurried out, straight to the pre summit mixer just to soak up what I could from the evening. It ended up being the best weekend of my life thus far in my professional development; and also bittersweet because it showed me just the start of what is possible.
The night prior to Day 1 of the LSM Summit, I was still recovering from a strong espresso martini hangover while, rapidly, scribbling some form of notes for the ‘Mock Class’ reading. It brought back the same flustered experience of taking German as my language credit in undergrad. A confusing reflection about my intellectual and cognitive capabilities but, nonetheless I was fully committed to making sense of the case. My insecurities lurked in my head like the minotaur, casting doubt about whether I was meant to be here, or how maybe this was just another string of luck, some form of a higher spirit, or mere stubbornness to just try and see where it goes, something I had brought from the Big Apple to the Windy City.
Every doubt that had been rattling in my head, body, and spirit was blocked off in the first three minutes, when I was fortunate to get a seat in the front row. Thanks to Angel who offered me a seat next to them, I had offered pencils to my section, and shared my notes with Angel and from onward it had been okay. Our shared nervousness assured I was going to be okay. This was the first of several core memories for me. Knowing just how little I would be missing the sea of faces in less than 48 hours. Throughout the weekend of the Law School Mentor Summit, not only was I grateful to have been among the minds, experiences and stories of noble, field innovated lawyers, attorneys, and the next generation of social change. I had found myself just glowing with a confidence I had formerly what seemed a lifetime ago doing similar work in my adolescence for the rights, equity, and safety for LGBT+ students in New York City.
Now nearly a decade later, I keep in my heart the mantras of writers, educators, and the opening panelist who shared their journey of what they would share with themselves a year prior to starting law school. While sitting next to Angel, a new found colleague I could also feel the strides of who I was at age 13, 16, and 18 years old. Never expecting that long ago a transgender kid who only had his ambition, vulnerability, and the slightest bit of hope left a better tomorrow---- that nothing was going to stop him from defending the rights, and autonomy of individuals and/or marginalized communities to be treated with respect and dignity. Most importantly, even when getting awarded from the generous sponsors in support of LSM, listening in on advice from well experienced admissions, mingling among my peers from different coast and life stages, to seeing the lovely view from the 10th floor of Kent’s library. I was given the opportunity to not have a seat at the table but see the endless pathways forming of how many tables I have yet to endure--and that is all thanks due to the work and efforts of the Law School Mentor team.